I haven't been keeping up with the blog lately, but you know how life gets in the way and blah blah blah. Working 2 jobs was becoming too much, and it left me little time for myself, let alone blogging and cooking. I finally quit my job at the restaurant, for many reason, one mainly to have more time for myself and to be able to prepare healthy meals. As I am still learning, its taking a little extra time for me to prepare meals.
Last night, I kind of had a break down. Converting to being vegan is SO damn hard, it really is. I think that the cutting out the meat part is totally a no brainer for me. That has been relatively simple. Its the dairy part, specifically cheese and sour cream based dips that has been the challenge. I really feel like for me to see the results that I want, I can't do this bit by bit. I want to do it all at once. I kind of feel dirty knowing that I ate cheese or pigged out on french onion dip and chips (like I did last night) or ate a frozen pizza (like I did 4 days ago).
Curbing the cravings is so hard and filling up on veggies can be hard too. I ate the crap out of some baby carrots yesterday, mainly as a snack, but they just didn't really curb my appetite for more than an hour so so. I'm trying to drink more water, but I can only handle going to the toilet every 15-20 min for so long. Last night I went to the store to get stuff to make this really yummy looking Crispy Sweet & Sour Tofu recipe and I got ticked off in the parking lot (5:30 pm grocery trips are a BAD idea in my book). Of course I was starving when I got there, and angry, so after I found all my healthy goodies, I got that pang for chips and dip. So what did I do....bought chips and dip. And cookies for work (and cookies for home). Cookies almost totally destroyed, along with the dip and chips. You can not imagine how crappy I felt after that, and so far most of today.
Tonight, I WILL go home and make that S&S Tofu, because it sounds really great. And I'll have to make sure I have something ready for tomorrow, because I have a CPR class right after work...gonna be a long day, so I need to be ready for it.

Hopefully, I will be able to beat these cravings of mine in the future, because they really suck.